Saturday, May 8, 2010

What is in a name?

One afternoon, 26 + years ago, a baby was born with blue eyes and red hair. Her parents were happy, but they needed a name. After much deliberation they thought they would name her after both of her grandmothers, and give her a first name that they both liked.

Heather Christina Mae Jones it was (not so bad, yet)

Jump ahead 5 years. After the death of her father, her mother remarried, and she was adopted by her step-father. Due to the circumstances surrounding her father's sudden death. Her mother decided that she didn't want to remove her original last name, just add one more name to the mix.

Heather Christina Mae Jones we are getting somewhere.

She grew up and was usually called Heather Christina, or Heather Mae (except for in the 2nd grade when she went by Christie because there were three other Heather's in class). It was fine, until someone asked what her middle name was. Sometimes she took the easy way out and just gave them one of her many middle names. Other times she let it all go and then had to explain why she had five names.

This would always mean more questions: How did your dad die? Does your birth certificate say all of those names? How does that fit? What does it say on your ID? Occasionally she would tell someone her middle name was Christina and leave it at that, until someone called her Heather Mae, and then there was confusion followed by explanation and then more questions. She often wondered about what it would be like to just have three names like everyone else.

One day she met a boy, fell in love with that boy, and wanted to marry him. It was then she realized that her name would grow again. "It won't fit on my driver's license", she thought.

Heather Christina Mae Jones Lewis Gonzalez

That is just ridiculous! The only people with 6 names are members of the British royal family, and she wasn't one them. She thought there was no solution to her problem, but that didn't stop her from marrying the boy. She loved him and even if he had two or three last names, she would have taken them all on. After all what's one more when you have six.

After the ceremony she went to the Social Security office, marriage license in hand, and asked to update her name. The secretary said, "What do you want to change your name to? "What do you mean?" She asked, "I want my husband's last name." "Well", the secretary said, "with a marriage license you can change your name to whatever you want." "Can I delete some", she asked. "Sure", replied the clerk.

Heather Christina Gonzalez walked out of the office lighter than air, and three names shorter. And she lived happily ever after, even though her family still calls her Heather Mae.

Read more:

No comments:

Post a Comment