I'm certain when you read the title of this post, you figured you were in for an upbeat account of my baby boy Luis...unfortunately, this is not the case, and I am actually referring to myself.
When I was in my teens, I had lofty ambitions of being a Tony award winning, double platinum member of the President's cabinet who trained dolphins in her spare time and had a Grammy on the mantle. I never entertained any notion that this would be impossible or that I wouldn't be able to accomplish any of these goals. That is the beauty of youth, endless hope and possibility.
I remember the exact moment I realized I probably wasn't going to be any of those things that I had daydreamed about while sitting in French class.
It was on my 21st birthday; I remember every detail about that day. I spent all afternoon with Casey trying to find every way we could bait someone into carding us so I could flash my ID. Casey's gift was escorting me to the DMV to get that dreaded green line that signifies "UNDER 21" removed from my license. I got a great new picture of the "grown up " 21 year old me and the green line erased. Back in the car I took a good look at the license and noticed the expiration date...11/16/2011.
I gasped out loud. In 2011, I will be 28 years old. My thoughts were racing. I was going to be 28 someday, and then I was going to be 30. How is it possible that I never thought of this before? My dreams had an expiration date, and this was the moment I realized it. I made a comment about how surreal growing up was, but I didn't let on how heartbroken I was.
This year I will be 27, one year to my DMV deadline, and I am no longer discouraged. I realized some time ago that my childhood dreams may be vanishing, but my adult dreams have not. I may not be a Tony Award Winning Broadway star, but I found an amazing husband that loves me unconditionally, and he goes to see musicals with me...even though they are not his thing. He even manages to enjoy himself sometimes. I might not ever be a Grammy Award Winning musician who went double platinum, but I do have the gift of being a mother to, quite possibly, the cutest little boy ever ( he even has a bib proclaiming this fact) and I can't imagine a better award than that. I know that I won't be a member of the President's cabinet, but I have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom to teach and advise my own child to be a productive member of society.
I still do daydream every so often about standing ovations, singing to huge crowds, and looking out the window from Air Force One, but these dreams don't make me sad. I am quite hopeful that maybe my son will share some of my early ambitions.
I am not totally fearless as I approach the third decade of my life. I have adjusted my goals to realistically reflect my near future, but I am no longer moving forward blindly, thinking my dreams don't have a zero hour. My experience at the DMV has taught me otherwise. I know that 30 is right around the corner, but I'm pressing forward.
Read more: http://www.mylivesignature.com/mls_wizard2_1.php?sid=54488-147-FED063ECC757775EB7BB0DC55FD3B959#ixzz0lzSRnJdr
